Post
by haxxorzd00d » 18 Jun 2013, 12:52
"Ah, how convenient! Just when I was looking for three heroes, look how many show up! You three will be perfect candidates for our latest experiment - uh, I mean, exciting adventure!
Now, normally we send brave warriors off on their own to slay dragons, save princesses and whatnot. They usually don't come back. We figure being all on their lonesome may be a little detrimental to their health. Then we tried some dynamic duos, but there was this whole "Odd Couple" vibe going on... it didn't go so well. But y'know what they say - THREE is the magic number, so guess what? You guys are... drumroll please... the Guild's first Trinity of Heroes!
You, yes, YOU, will band together to take on whatever godforsaken quests the good heroes turned down. Sqarkwad, Olrik and Guy, you'll need to decide on a kick-ass TEAM NAME amongst yourselves. If you can't come to an agreement I'll pick a suggestion at random.
Oh, and there's one more thing. You'll want to get yourselves some classes! Can't have you being all generic and unhelpful, now can we? I'm sure you want to be a noble paladin or a badass barbarian, or one of those creepy necromancer dudes. I get it, we've all had power fantasies at one time or another.
Weeeell... here's the thing. EVERYONE wants to be the cool guys. No-one ever wants to be the healer or the bard or the weird animal-talking druid guy. To be honest, that's probably why we lost so many of our tough guys - no support backin' 'em up, y'know what I mean? They think they can just rush in swinging their oversized swords at Grothnar the Impetious like oversized swords are going out of style. Guess what? They get smushed into paste because some virtuous do-gooder wasn't there to cast Finger of Resurrection or whatever.
So here's how we do things now. Your official fine-and-dandy Hero Welcome Kits come with classes packed in 'em. You get your class, and that's you. I don't care how much experience you've had as a ranger, if you're gonna be a paladin, you'll damn well be a paladin. No takesies backsies. It's a little fairer on the more... exotic classes, y'know? Anyway, you guys can pick yourselves a team name while I go prep your welcome kits and photocopy some certificates with your names on 'em so you can feel all important."
"Oh, and anyone else still interested? Feel free, we always need more dragon fodder."
My "name" is Lord Bountmatten, 1st Earl of Zimbabwe.
