Mall Fight III: Back for Mall (Ah, see what I did there?)

[Spyboticsguy]

I "nod" the camera, close the doors, and whisper over the PC World intercom: "i'll try, no promises"

[asi1998]

Lucky me, it wasn't me in the lolmac store but a friend I had put in charge. I was really hiding in my other domain which I obviously won't give away although I've spent most of my time there. I take apart one of the lolmacs I had stolen and I take parts from it and for the lights and end up creating a tripwire bomb and I'm eonly one who knows how to get past it.

[Wildwill002]

Something tells me that every time asi dies he's gonna say something like "Wasn't me, was a clone trololol"

[aeroeng15]

Just as the monitors go blank, I notice the location of access briefly. Seeing as it was a number, I consult a nearby manual on the mall. I finally locate the store, and attempt to communicate via walkie talkie.

[Invunarble]

Something tells me that every time asi dies he's gonna say something like "Wasn't me, was a clone trololol"

That

[Someguy42]

It starts to get very dark and we have nearly finished the main story line of the game. There isn't much screaming outside anymore. However, I do make a safety precaution and find a piece of string and use it as a tripwire. If someone enters, they will trip and fall face first into bit of cracked sharp plastic from game cases that I set up. Also for no bull shittery from someone else, the tripwire is blending in with the background.

[Spyboticsguy]

I pick up aero's transmission, and ask him if he means well. If he does, I give him store coordinates. If he shows any sign of violence, I shoot him on the spot with the built-in turrets.

[Invunarble]

Getting sick of Spy's voice coming onto the intercom, I pick up a large stool and start randomly smashing security cameras and intercom systems along my section of the mall I blocked off with shiny coins.

That should do the trick.

[Spyboticsguy]

I pump knockout gas into the areas that are being destroyed, and I announce loudly: "Cleanup in the Kiosk area. Ignore the coins."
I have a good feeling the murderous asi will take care of him.

[Spyboticsguy]

NOTE: Invun cannot hear me: he has very stupidly cut off the comms in his area.

[Invunarble]

Seeing the frightful knockout gas cloud around the corner, I quickly run into a nearby restaurant. Grabbing the handkerchief, I pull down my zipper and urinate in it, then stick the handkerchief up to my nose.

Realizing the gas does not seem to get past the glass door connected to a large window covering the entrance, I toss the napkin down on the ground. Why the hell did I urinate in that to begin with, let alone shove my face in it?

[asi1998]

I remove gasoline from the engine ofthe display car and i put it in a trash bin. I pur it all inside the carr and i take a pack of matches, drive in front of invuns restsurant blocking the exit and i set the car on fire and it later blows up. Invunis trapped behind a fiery car with nothing but a urinated napkin to keep him company.

[Invunarble]

Realizing some goofus had gone and parked infront of my restaurant, then lit their vehicle on fire, I go into the kitchen and grab the conveniently placed fire extinguisher, then use it to put out the fire. I then pick up a chair and toss it at the window, subsequently shattering it to pieces.

I then climb out of the restaurant, and proceed to walk through the mall, looking for another store to plunder.

[asi1998]

I find invun and i ask him if he wants to team up with me to wreak havoc to the rest of the mall.

[Invunarble]

As I search around for another store to pillage, I suddenly become startled by the figure that is now rapidly approaching me, wildly waving their arms around infront of me while speaking apparent gibberish, with tons of drool coming from the same location where the gibberish is coming from. I suddenly realize this is asi, the person who blinded me a few hours ago.

"hay d00d do u wnt 2 be a teem" as asi questions the possibility of this happening, I use my #clutch skills and reach into my pocket to pull out a toonie, then jab it into asi's eyelid, all in the matter of what would appear as milliseconds.

"We're even now, so sure, I'll be a "team" with you."

[asi1998]

"We're even now,

I always live by this strategy so i dont get upset with u if u expected me 2.I go and find spy, gag him and tie him up, steal his technology and lock him in a huge box. I then punch a bunch of holes in the box(doing all this in private) and i throw the box in the flooded MacAuthority storeleaving spy to get slighlty electrecuted and drown to death. I then proceed to hidingmin my lair making sure noeone is following me.

People who oppose me and invun will suffer the same fate.

[Spyboticsguy]

I spawn behind you and strangle you both with my bowtie.
As you die, I grab my tech and announce: "Nobody. Touches. The. Fez."
I plop said fez on my head and strut back to my base of operations, waiting for aero.
"PC WORLD: I got asi and Invun. Be on the lookout - hopefully, they've been seperated."
To aero: "if you see those two, don't hesitate to kill them."
Seeing that the PC-Worlders are safe, and the only other man who isn't a raving lunatic that I'm not trying to save is Skunk, I contact the cooking store, giving him info on asi and Invun - and how to avoid them.
I hope.

[Skunk_Giant]

As chaos begins to unfold around me, I realise that the safest option right now is to hide in a toilet. I notice a security camera outside and wave to it. I mouth the words 'let me know if anyone's coming', though I'm not sure if I was clear.

[Spyboticsguy]

I nod the camera, and detach its turret.
I point it towards the intercom inside, then begin my scan.

[aeroeng15]

Receiving Spy's transmission, I make sure that we are on friendly terms. As I make my way for the store, I hear glass shattering and fire. Hiding in the nearest kiosk, I watch as Invun struts past with a rather pained looking Asi behind him. Seeing that Asi went into the store, I tried to warn Spy. However, Invun was still nearby so I kept quiet. When I saw Spy emerge, I knew who he was. After a short debate (and making sure the coast was clear), I head into the store and inquire about a Time and Relative Dimension in Space.

[Invunarble]

I respawn in a FedEx shipping store. Furious that spyopticsguy managed to spawn behind me, I pick up a large shipping crate. Making my way over the numerous coins left on the ground, I make my way over to the security office, presumably Spy's domain.

Noticing the stupid clunky security camera on the wall, I duck behind a shadow and put the box over my head. Spy is too busy watching Skunk in the washroom to notice a walking box in the mall, so I make my way into the security room. I grab a paper weight and violently smash it into Spy's skull, effectively knocking him unconscious.

I walk towards the security control panel, and go into the user interface of the camera that Spy had rigged to nod at Skunk sitting in the toilet. Very rudely, I point the camera towards Skunk, effectively capturing him on the toilet, in action.

Hearing Spy begin to get up, I spin around in my new totally dope wheel chair, and clonk him on the head with the paperweight again. Go back to sleep. Reaching for the large box, I grab it and put it over Spy, and staple it to the ground.

While he isn't dead, his memory will be frizzy due to being hit on the head repeatedly with a paperweight, and more then likely will not notice his camera displacement.

Before hotwiring the entire network to display blackadder stripping upon Spy's attempts to log in to his account, I hack into the PA system and make a brief announcement:

"This facility is now under the control of Invun Industries. Surrender peacefully, and your lives will be spared at a determinable cost. West side represent!"

Finally, before walking out of the room, I make the PA systems play this song repeatedly for an indefinite period of time.

[Spyboticsguy]

I'm in JCPenny's.
Dolt. I rigged the security room to explode for a reason.
I welcome Aero in, and send him to begin building a base at Reception.
Sadly, I do not have a TARDIS.
And Invun, you've just hit a bomb with a paperweight. Multiple times.
"Invun, take a closer look at me. And then run."

[Invunarble]

Noting the fact I somehow mistook a bomb for Spy, I worringly glance around the room. Taking note of a Blast Protection IV Anti-Explosion suit, I dash over and reach to put it on.

No running is gonna be done here.

[Spyboticsguy]

"*sigh* Suit yourself. I won't kill you - but you're about to let a bomb go off in the main security hub of the mall. I can't promise those chemicals will be particularly pleasant."
I then promise to leave the door unlocked until that bomb reaches critical, just to be fair.

[Skunk_Giant]

After announcing himself as being in charge of the mall, I realise something must have happened and quickly make my way out of the toilet. As I'm running, I hear a loud explosion and jump to the ground.

[aeroeng15]

Unfortunately for Invun, I boobied the armor before I left (besides, the whole system was inaccessible from the security booth to begin with) with a bomb inside the armor, with auto-locking straps. Invun has now become a ticking time bomb that only affects him. Cheers!

In other news, the front of JCPenny is now fortified and manned by moi. After dragging numerous manequins and racks and other shenanigans into a sort of barrier, I lurk about (much like Hawkeye) to make sure we have no unwanted visitors...

[Spyboticsguy]

"Oh, good, aero made you a walking time bomb. -grumble- I can't have you running around like that - so I'll give you a choice: I can lock the door and kill you painlessly with gas, or you can try to get the hell out of that suit. I'll lock the door until either you die, or you get the suit off. I don't think you have much time, so tell me - what'll it be?"

[Invunarble]

"*sigh* Suit yourself. I won't kill you - but you're about to let a bomb go off in the main security hub of the mall. I can't promise those chemicals will be particularly pleasant."

If this was bellowed over the PA system, it's virtually impossible to hear due to the thick titanium of the suit, combined with the fact Bed Intruder is still blaring over the PA system.

Unfortunately for Invun, blargh blargh blargh

Suddenly realizing there is a bomb in my suit, I panic and run for the door, jumping out as it barely closes behind me. As I fall down from the heroic dive, the bomb seems to stop ticking, and soon shuts off entirely. The straps on the suit seem to be made of similar poor quality, and so I am able to detach the disarmed bomb entirely from my suit, and remove the straps keeping it attached.

"Ha! That's what you get for manufacturing your bomb in China."

[aeroeng15]

Since only the suit was made in China and the bomb was home-made, it promptly blows up in your face due to scientific inaccuracies on my part. :-/

[Spyboticsguy]

True to my word, I open the door and quickly shoo Invun out before locking the door behind him.
Bed Intruder stops playing. The bomb detonates, and the door holds.
"Door won't hold those gases for long. I'd get out."
"Aero, you put smoke bombs in there. I'm not sure if I'm happy or just losing confidence in you."