Falling in love with the puppet

[Zinrius]

Hi, it’s Zinrius. I know it’s been a while since I’ve monitored the server but real life’s got me tied up. I need to post this somewhere with feedback for the sake of hearing an opinion because I can’t find any answers about it and It’s got me in a mental jam.

What would you do if you fell in love with the puppet and not the puppeteer?

I’ll be blunt, I met my wife via role-playing website years back (5yrs or so). We role played characters in a story where they fell in-love and had a family with 2 kids for about 2 years, which is how we dated.

We met in person 3 years ago, and since then we’ve gotten together, got married (mistake) and continued our story. But more and more each day I see this person, the puppeteer, is less and less appealing to me. Not because of her looks, but the things she does ( or does not do ). She’s lazy, and does not have a job which also leads to her appearance … well… she’s getting fluffy. Now now, I’m not saying she’s bad looking OR that she’s a bad person, I’m not saying that at all…

Some of you might think it’s as easy as “dumping her” and get over it but it’s not that easy… (it's harder as you get older)

My dilemma is all the years we’ve been together; I’ve felt almost like I’ve led her on. I’m in love with her fictional character (which is text based, not that MMO character crap) more than I’m in love with her and I’m afraid it’ll hurt twice as much if, by some twist in our lives, we separated.

She’s recently hit a wall of reality where we’ll loose each other if she doesn’t change... I’ll, of course, continue to help her and hope we are able to make things work out.

[Godavari]

Firstly, I'm far from an expert.

That being said, my advice is to 1) bring this up with her and talk about it like adults, and 2) if you find you can fix your relationship, work towards that. If you find you can't, it may be time to let go. It may be painful to separate, but it would be a worse idea for you two to stay together if you aren't compatible. The situation seems hopeful to me, so I recommend trying to work out the sticking points together. If both of you are willing to change in order to preserve the marriage, you can make everything work out fine.

[Zinrius]

Firstly, I'm far from an expert.

That being said, my advice is to 1) bring this up with her and talk about it like adults, and 2) if you find you can fix your relationship, work towards that. If you find you can't, it may be time to let go. It may be painful to separate, but it would be a worse idea for you two to stay together if you aren't compatible. The situation seems hopeful to me, so I recommend trying to work out the sticking points together. If both of you are willing to change in order to preserve the marriage, you can make everything work out fine.

Communication's always vital, I'll definitely work on that tonight when I get home.

Thank you.