Worst story you've ever read

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Spyboticsguy
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Worst story you've ever read

Post by Spyboticsguy » 13 Oct 2011, 22:05

What is the worst piece of fiction/fanfiction you have ever read?


EDIT: Changed the OP to something more tasteful.
Last edited by Spyboticsguy on 14 Oct 2011, 05:49, edited 2 times in total.
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Lord_Mountbatten
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Re: Shipcraft

Post by Lord_Mountbatten » 13 Oct 2011, 22:07

That has massive potential to go beyond the realms of PG-13.
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Spyboticsguy
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Re: Shipcraft

Post by Spyboticsguy » 13 Oct 2011, 22:09

Edited post based on Mountbatten's post. If you have to extend there, mark it and spoiler it.
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Blackadder51
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Re: Shipcraft

Post by Blackadder51 » 13 Oct 2011, 23:26

Im so bored at work, my story.

One day there was ugly duckling, he was so ugly everyone died.
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Re: Shipcraft

Post by 697134002 » 13 Oct 2011, 23:35

"Ship them"? Elaborate.
Richard Dawkins wrote:I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.

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Re: Shipcraft

Post by Aenir_bEPU » 13 Oct 2011, 23:36

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Re: Shipcraft

Post by aflycon » 14 Oct 2011, 00:12


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Spyboticsguy
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Re: Shipcraft

Post by Spyboticsguy » 14 Oct 2011, 05:41

I think blackadder's already won.
Seriously, you guys might as well pack up and leave, because that was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Ever.
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Spyboticsguy » 14 Oct 2011, 05:51

Edited OP. Your posts are now irrelevant. On the fluoride, this is a much more tasteful topic.
I would clear the messages, but I can't delete topics (I think) or delete other's posts.
I think this is a much nicer topic.
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Lord_Mountbatten » 14 Oct 2011, 05:59

Oh dear. Hm, it was probably fanfiction.

Though most of the ones I've read/seen videos of were what you'd call "so bad it's good", such as something like Full Life Consequences or 30 Hs.
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by OptimusHagrid » 14 Oct 2011, 07:13

No, John. You are the demons
Spoiler! :
And then John was a zombie.
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DuplicateValue
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by DuplicateValue » 14 Oct 2011, 09:37

Well, I've read My Immortal. Is that too obvious a choice?
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"He's like fire, and ice, and rage.
He's like the night, and the storm in the heart of the sun.
He's ancient and forever.
He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe.
And... he's wonderful."

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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by SneakyPie » 14 Oct 2011, 09:41

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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Pinmissile » 14 Oct 2011, 20:31

There's probably a video of me doing a dramatic reading of Halos in Space somewhere on the internet.
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by vallorn » 14 Oct 2011, 21:11

its definitely not Cupcakes <_< >_>
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Milo_Windby » 14 Oct 2011, 21:20

"Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Spyboticsguy » 14 Oct 2011, 22:04

I've got a list.
My Immortal
Eevee TF/TG (listened to dramatic reading)
Probably 10 or so shipfics across many genres/universes
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by random980 » 14 Oct 2011, 22:25

Never read a book called Lion Boy.
Just dont.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfR9iY5y94s
Eekum Bokum
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Reaverblade » 20 Oct 2011, 09:14

Milo_Windby wrote:"Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"
Yes! *laughs really hard*
You had to have the book(or internet page) right there. not other way you could've spelled that right.
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by MKindy » 21 Oct 2011, 13:27

The BEST work of fanfiction ever: http://www.peterchimaera.com/doom.html
Peter Chimaera wrote:John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.

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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Eddietester1066 » 21 Oct 2011, 13:53

In an attempt to drag this back on topic, I can say that I have never been able to slog through more than a couple hundred pages of any instance of the stentorian, nay, sclerotic, prose that constitutes the body of work produced during the life of one Charles Dickens. I attribute much of the fault in this matter to the the fact that Mr. Dickens, like many of his contemporaries, was paid by the word. The end result of this misguided policy on the part of the publishers was the production of overly weighty tomes filled with florid descriptions of the many assorted items scattered about the confines of young Ned's hovel, which we only catch a passing glimpse of. These people wouldn't know Chekov's Gun if you picked it up and shot them with it. :P

A decent editor would go after these things with a chainsaw and a flamethrower.
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Darktaint » 21 Oct 2011, 13:55

MKindy wrote:The BEST work of fanfiction ever: http://www.peterchimaera.com/doom.html
Peter Chimaera wrote:John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.
I pulled this face...
Spoiler! :
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then lulz where had
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Sti_Jo_Lew » 21 Oct 2011, 21:12

Ok, those last two lines are going to be my sig. It's just too epic to pass up.
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Lord_Mountbatten » 22 Oct 2011, 11:53

Eddietester1066 wrote:A decent editor would go after these things with a chainsaw and a flamethrower.
A prolix editor wouldn't though. Depends what you think in the end. I personally enjoy the over-the-top quality to the way Dickens writes, even if I do cringe at such examples as "there was considerable difficulty in inducing Oliver to take upon himself the office of respiration" instead of "the little git couldn't breathe".
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by ojamamask » 22 Oct 2011, 17:00

Anyone read a MLP fanfic called 'the spiderses' yea....
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by arogon343 » 22 Oct 2011, 18:36

A chicken wALKEd in to A foREst And th3en IT DIED>>>>
CEO of D.I.A.S Corp.
if at first you dont succeed, 5 blackadders of tnt usualy helps....
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by vallorn » 22 Oct 2011, 18:42

arogon343 wrote:A chicken wALKEd in to A foREst And th3en IT DIED>>>>
no no Aro thats the very best story in the world. :)
Lord_Mountbatten wrote:I didn't quite hear you over the sound of my eyebrow shooting into the sky.
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by arogon343 » 22 Oct 2011, 19:19

vallorn wrote:
arogon343 wrote:A chicken wALKEd in to A foREst And th3en IT DIED>>>>
no no Aro thats the very best story in the world. :)
Oh yeah. Baws.
CEO of D.I.A.S Corp.
if at first you dont succeed, 5 blackadders of tnt usualy helps....
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Spyboticsguy
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by Spyboticsguy » 22 Oct 2011, 20:58

I read a story once about the story I was reading. Didn't make any sense, to be honest.
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MKindy
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Re: Worst story you've ever read

Post by MKindy » 22 Oct 2011, 21:01

Spyboticsguy wrote:I read a story once about the story I was reading. Didn't make any sense, to be honest.
Was it House of Leaves?

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