Sir Haxx's Almanac of Escapia - Chapter 3

[haxxorzd00d]

Good day, ladies and gentleminers!

As I was going about my regular in-game procrastinating, a thought occurred to me: I hardly ever see the great stuff people build. So I asked around and checked in on some fine community members, and what I found inspired me to start this:

Sir Haxx's Almanac of Escapia!

How it works:
- Whenever I log on, I'll ask around if anyone's building anything cool.
- This is your opportunity! Invite me to take a look at your projects! They don't have to be finished, or even any good! Anything goes, not just houses: towns, megastructures, you name it.
- I'll take screenies and write up a critical analysis of your work, complete with a final score.
- Your project will then be entered into the Almanac, to be judged by the masses.
- Feel free to ask me to check out your project, but I won't tour anything by myself. Either you or a well-informed representative will need to show me around, so I can get a true impression of your work.

Anyway, without further ado, let us begin.

Chapter 1
Ingenious Home Solutions with aeroeng15 and DaemonLee
X = -1520, Z = -770 (approx)

My first unwitting victims were Aero and Daemon. I TP'd over to check out their work, and discovered a technological marvel of a house. Daemon was happy to give me a guided tour...

The kitchen!

2012-11-03_11.26.05.png

Simply designed, yet with a few smart features. The dispenser-powered fridge caught my eye; this modern kitchen also features a bar, fancy sink and cookbook shelf. The cupboard signs were a nice touch, though Daemon failed to notice the signs looked suspiciously like penises, and now can't unsee it.

2012-11-03_11.28.21.png

The dining area utilises a traditional stone-plate-on-fence design. Also note the sweeping glass windows; the house boasts a rather spectacular view of the surrounding forest. I was informed the colourful floor patterns were something to do with music discs, but I merely looked confused and moved swiftly on.

2012-11-03_11.29.09.png

Now, here's a contraption which earns my Notchbel Prize for Invention: a simple netherrack block with an attached lever form a charming and functional barbecue!

The lounge!

2012-11-03_11.30.03.png

Sofa, coffee table, big TV - the perfect setup for watching the latest episodes of Escapian Idol and Borjan Shore. Of particular interest, there's a Steambox under the TV; why get today's cutting-edge technology when you can get tech that doesn't even exist yet? Now THAT's future-proofing!

2012-11-03_11.30.38.png

Apparently this is a pool table. I'm not entirely sure how it works, though I did enjoy waving the pool cue around. Come to think of it, I never did give that back...

Aero's bedroom!

2012-11-03_11.31.45.png

Fantastic views once again, as well as a fancy laptop and chess table. The sign is a placeholder for a flower pot when 1.4 comes out; I'm tempted to go and lock it as a stark reminder that nothing is ever truly complete.

The lower levels!

2012-11-03_11.33.20.png

Everything a survivalist could want is found below the house; animal pens, piston-powered melon and pumpkin patches, netherwart and cocoa pods, and of course this deceptively simple auto-farming solution. I couldn't help noticing the lack of cacti, reeds and trees, but beggars can't be choosers. Or I just didn't notice them. Moving on.

2012-11-03_11.35.38.png

At the base of the property is an effective mob grinder. The lift sign leads to a lower area in which one can comfortably slaughter skellies falling from above. A tad inhumane, certainly, but effective as all get-out.

2012-11-03_11.38.23.png

And there you have it. The house's large sloped roof makes it a distinctive landmark from all around. Would I live in this house? Certainly. It's functional yet elegant, with almost every farm you could think of under the surface. I'm pleased to rate this build A for Accomplished!

But that's not all; the lower levels of the house aren't finished yet. I'll be sure to return when they are, to see what's improved.

Well, that's the first chapter of my Almanac established. I think it went rather swimmingly, don't you? I'm eagerly awaiting Escapia's next surprises, but until next time, cheerio!

[Thelepearchauns]

Awesome Hax, and an awesome home to start with. I have 2 projects for review. Look for me

[haxxorzd00d]

As a launch day bonus, you get a second chapter - no extra charge!

Chapter 2
Rollin' on the Branchscape Railroad with Tanis and Tyrese

Normally I'd shy away from the Branchscape Empire - too much politics for my liking - but Tanis invited me to check out the newly built train station, so naturally I was happy to oblige. As I designed the Borjan central station, I'll be paying close attention to the details.

2012-11-03_16.20.56.png

I was greeted by what Tanis referred to as the station garden. In typical Branchscape fashion, everything's covered in so much green you'd think Yoda threw up all over the place, and it's overshadowed by a hugenormous tree. This is the Windwillow, which I'm told is under construction. This is news to me; I assumed they used a crapton of bone meal to get those trees so tall. So THAT's what I've been doing wrong!

2012-11-03_16.22.48.png

A view of the station from the outside. I used brick in the Borjan station design; this is clearly a cheap knock-off. Personally I'd have used wood and logs to keep with the theme, but I suppose one would tire of trees being surrounded by them all day.

2012-11-03_16.24.02.png

Inside the station I find these turnstiles. Tanis tells me that travel on the Branchscape line is free, so I can't help wondering what these are for... do people enjoy going through turnstiles? I know I do. I stop to admire the rather attractive domed glass roof; it almost reminds me of the one I built in Borjan. Almost.

2012-11-03_16.24.17.png

What kind of station has a grill bar? I can't keep up with today's dining trends...

2012-11-03_16.24.27.png

Courtesy of the Department of Redundancy Department, a timetable for a self-powered train system. Is it just me, or are town names getting weirder?

2012-11-03_16.24.39.png

Platform 3 is the only completed line. Guess we're going to whatever the hell Wyndhelm is. Sounds like something you'd put on your head to guard against flatulence.

2012-11-03_16.25.32.png

...and then this happened. My hopes weren't exactly high to begin with, but they couldn't be much lower without ending up in the basement. Still, I came here for a train ride, and I shall have it.

2012-11-03_16.33.48.png

After a largely uneventful cart ride, we arrive at "The Estate", which I'm told is owned by Foxes. I choose not to inquire any further, though Tanis does reassure me that there are no dangerous high-density warheads anywhere in the area, especially not under the building. Oh good, I was beginning to get worried about those.

So, in conclusion, yeah. That was the new Branchscape station, complete with wacky timetable and non-functional bar. It was decent enough, but I can't help thinking they should stick to trees. It's what they're good at. Besides, mine was better.

2012-11-03_16.40.33.png

Here's mine for comparison. See, it's clearly the same thing. It's got platforms and everything.

I award this a B for Blatant Plagiarism! If they'd had the decency to serve me at the bar, I might have scored it higher - but nope, they didn't even offer. I know we're short-staffed because of the update, but jeez.

This concludes another entirely unthrilling chapter of my adventures. Til next time, cheerio!

[Invunarble]

Oh, I have a really nice tower thing that I'd be willing to show you, I'll edit this post later with coords

[LS13]

Lol someone doesn't like Branchscape XD check out frost, south borjan crossroads

[haxxorzd00d]

Chapter 3
Renewable Living (and Dark Secrets) with Welwyn

The pre-update lull may be turning Escapia into a bit of a ghost town, but a few stalwart builders are still working on projects. Welwyn is one of them; he's just finished his new house - his first ever Minecraft house in fact; I can't imagine where he's been living until now - and I'm more than happy to accept his offer of a guided tour.

2012-11-05_19.54.49.png

This hillside house was built legit from renewable materials (except for the glass, but I'll let that slide; no-one likes holes in their walls) and took around 5 hours to complete. The angular, modern style is simple yet elegant.

The living space!

2012-11-05_19.56.10.png

This spacious room is quite sparsely furnished, but it does feature some smart designs. Of particular note are these storage solutions: a Tetris-themed bookshelf (Welwyn says there was a C-shaped block in his game; I don't know what bastardised abomination of Tetris he's been playing but I don't like it one bit) and a dual-purpose bookcase and shelving unit.

2012-11-05_19.58.24.png

This classic Creeperstein grand piano is pretty inventive, though it would've been even better if it were rigged up to some note blocks.

2012-11-05_19.58.48.png

This fishtank seems unusually empty, probably because no-one gives a crap about fish in Minecraft.

The bathroom!

2012-11-05_20.00.48.png

Form meets function in this room; the wooden walls and floor give it a sauna-like feel. The room features a classic shower and tub set, as well as a fancy toilet with lid and flush button.

The deck!

2012-11-05_20.02.16.png

Definitely my favourite part of the property, this smart wooden deck overlooks the rolling hills below. A building in the distance catches my eye; I'll be sure to check that out later. Tiki torches and a classic outdoor dining set complement the inlaid pool. And yes, it IS possible to cannonball into the pool from up on the roof. I tested it myself. Several times.

The upstairs lounge!

2012-11-05_20.03.18.png

Relax in style with this plush red sofa and big-screen Toltectronics 300X television, complete with BedRock 5.1 surround sound system.

The bedroom!

2012-11-05_20.05.43.png

The centerpiece of this somewhat bare room is this commanding bedstead from BLOCKEA's Spruced Up collection. As Welwyn poses for me on his bed, he gives me a seductive look; I gratefully decline.

2012-11-05_20.10.22.png

So there you have it. You may have noticed the lack of a kitchen in Welwyn's house; when I asked him about it, he simply replied "takeaways". +1, good sir.

But wait! There's more!

That building I spotted from Welwyn's deck caught my interest. After the tour, I sneak off to take a look.

2012-11-05_20.48.39.png

Egads! It's some sort of giant square pit of doom! What nefarious plans could he possibly have for this? I see Welwyn and Invun approaching and quickly conceal myself. However, what I discover next is truly horrifying...

2012-11-05_20.51.09.png

It's some sort of Testificate torture chamber! I overhear a conversation in which Welwyn mentions "breeding" of Testificates, and then I understand. He's going to murder the entire population of Escapia, dump our corpses into this huge pit, then repopulate the world with these tortured, force-bred Testificate clones! I take it upon myself to inform the world of his evil plans, and swiftly escape. He later tells me that he plays Minecraft on Tiny render distance and had no idea his death pit was so close to his house; this is clearly a clever ruse which I shan't fall for.

So, I think we've all learned a little something about our friendly mod Welwyn today - and I don't mean his interior design preferences. I have no choice but to rate this madman D for Diabolical! Your days are numbered, Welwyn. The people of Escapia won't stand for your dastardly plans!

Nice house though.

[welwyn]

Actually glass is renewable. You can get it via trading with testificates (took a lot of breeding to get hold of that trade, hence the breeding).

[haxxorzd00d]

Actually glass is renewable. You can get it via trading with testificates (took a lot of breeding to get hold of that trade, hence the breeding).

Ah! I guess you really do learn something every day. You're still a dastardly evil genius though.

[Lefthit]

2012-11-07_20.46.14.png

i was wandering around aimlessly when i found this hahaa...
lol i recognized welwyns place from haxx's almanac

[random980]

When are you usually on haxx? (which timezone that is)
Ill be more than happy to show you my Gothic Church in creative and the current project im working on, which is a large and non-ugly twisting tower.