Wicked West (M) Its back! New characters are still welcome!

[697134002]

You need to fragment your paragraphs more. Dialogue by a new speaker is always on a new line. Because of the lack of fragmentation, I sometimes get confused about who is talking.

[Someguy42]

Need to proof edit it and make sure you got the spelling right. Also as 697 said each time a dialogue pops up its on a new line each time someone talks. Other than that the story is going pretty good. Keep up the good work!

[random980]

You need to fragment your paragraphs more. Dialogue by a new speaker is always on a new line. Because of the lack of fragmentation, I sometimes get confused about who is talking.

I will try to remember that for next time, otherwise did you like it?

[Skunk_Giant]

Yeah, as above, a new line for each speaker is important. I got lost a few times with the dialogue because of that.
Other than, great!
Story wise, I really enjoyed it!

[random980]

So we are all agreeing the dialogue needs to be easier to understand who is talking.
What i was thinking is maybe setting it out in a play-book format. ex.
Walter: herpaa derp derp
Red: Yeah but herr derr derp
Then alaitoc entered the room while derping
Alaitoc: derpa herp herp.
This would make dialogue very easy to read, yet it doesnt feel right to format the story in this way. If you dislike the idea ill stick to new dialogue on a new line and who said it, doing what, afterwards.
Doc Brown's medical review on the characters and OP updates to come!

[Skunk_Giant]

That could work, if it's easier for you. I'd prefer the normal style, but whatever's easier.

[Someguy42]

I wasn't included in the herpa derpa :*(

[random980]

Flint: HERR DEERRR HERR DERRR DERP

[Someguy42]

Flint: HERR DEERRR HERR DERRR DERP

[andy25100]

Characters Needed, hhmmm.. if it isn't too late i wouldn't mind joining 5 chapters in.

[random980]

Characters Needed, hhmmm.. if it isn't too late i wouldn't mind joining 5 chapters in.

ITS NEVER TO LATE TO JOIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In other words feel free to make a character. Even if you are joining in the last installment of Wicked West in the future, you can still join. We only have 4 characters
I might update the thread name to CHARACTERS ALWAYS WELCOME!
Dont forget to read ALL the story posts and the OP.
EDIT: Updated a bit of the OP. Changed the name, added bold player names to Alaitoc and Flint, changed Travis's and Derek's description a bit, added Calico sheriff to NPC characters AND added Part 6 of chapter 1 to the OP.
i will do the Character reports Sunday night (Aus Time)

[andy25100]

After staying up later than i should i have my character sheet as pointless as it seems

Spoiler! :

Name: Stephen Cain
Age: 29
Appearance: A tall man a couple of inches over the average man with a small brown beard and short
brown hair wearing a pair of glasses that should have been replaced months ago he
stands out with a flat cap and attire more suitable for a city than a untamed wilderness.
Personality: A calm and collected man who to many seems bordering on cowardly but he knows
when to strike, prefering his fists more than anything else using his medical skill to his advantage
in knowing where best to hit (like that scene in Sherlock Holmes) as in his profession patience &
precision is key and that’s what he has lots of.
Background: A former doctor who after trying to dissect someone who wasn't quite dead, by
accident of course had to retire sooner than he thought he would leaving on the first
train he could find with a handful of belongings to hide long enough to be let back into
civilised society.
Trade/Job: Doctor, expert in good old fashioned anatomy

Special
Strength: 6
Perception: 7
Endurance: 5
Charisma: 7
Intelligence: 8
Agility: 6
Luck: 6

Skills:
Horse-riding: 2
Melee: 1
Fists: 4
Archery: 0
Rifles/Muskets: 0
Pistols: 1
Drunkenness: 2
Important items: A doctors bag and his medical journal
Money: $80

[Someguy42]

Charmed to meet you ol chap. Quite yes *slurp*.

[random980]

After staying up later than i should i have my character sheet as pointless as it seems

Spoiler! :

Name: Stephen Cain
Age: 29
Appearance: A tall man a couple of inches over the average man with a small brown beard and short
brown hair wearing a pair of glasses that should have been replaced months ago he
stands out with a flat cap and attire more suitable for a city than a untamed wilderness.
Personality: A calm and collected man who to many seems bordering on cowardly but he knows
when to strike, prefering his fists more than anything else using his medical skill to his advantage
in knowing where best to hit (like that scene in Sherlock Holmes) as in his profession patience &
precision is key and that’s what he has lots of.
Background: A former doctor who after trying to dissect someone who wasn't quite dead, by
accident of course had to retire sooner than he thought he would leaving on the first
train he could find with a handful of belongings to hide long enough to be let back into
civilised society.
Trade/Job: Doctor, expert in good old fashioned anatomy

Special
Strength: 6
Perception: 7
Endurance: 5
Charisma: 7
Intelligence: 8
Agility: 6
Luck: 6

Skills:
Horse-riding: 2
Melee: 1
Fists: 4
Archery: 0
Rifles/Muskets: 0
Pistols: 1
Drunkenness: 2
Important items: A doctors bag and his medical journal
Money: $80

I know the perfect place top fit you in. You can be Doc Browns apprentice! Meaning you are already at the house with the others. Or you can come in later, and maybe travel on your own for a bit before meeting the rest of the group.

[andy25100]

After staying up later than i should i have my character sheet as pointless as it seems

Spoiler! :

Name: Stephen Cain
Age: 29
Appearance: A tall man a couple of inches over the average man with a small brown beard and short
brown hair wearing a pair of glasses that should have been replaced months ago he
stands out with a flat cap and attire more suitable for a city than a untamed wilderness.
Personality: A calm and collected man who to many seems bordering on cowardly but he knows
when to strike, prefering his fists more than anything else using his medical skill to his advantage
in knowing where best to hit (like that scene in Sherlock Holmes) as in his profession patience &
precision is key and that’s what he has lots of.
Background: A former doctor who after trying to dissect someone who wasn't quite dead, by
accident of course had to retire sooner than he thought he would leaving on the first
train he could find with a handful of belongings to hide long enough to be let back into
civilised society.
Trade/Job: Doctor, expert in good old fashioned anatomy

Special
Strength: 6
Perception: 7
Endurance: 5
Charisma: 7
Intelligence: 8
Agility: 6
Luck: 6

Skills:
Horse-riding: 2
Melee: 1
Fists: 4
Archery: 0
Rifles/Muskets: 0
Pistols: 1
Drunkenness: 2
Important items: A doctors bag and his medical journal
Money: $80

I know the perfect place top fit you in. You can be Doc Browns apprentice! Meaning you are already at the house with the others. Or you can come in later, and maybe travel on your own for a bit before meeting the rest of the group.

I wan't someone who was a little different than the rest of them to mix the story up a bit

[random980]

Doc Browns report:
Red Barnle:
Health: 120 -40 -10 (bleeding) +20 (short rest and fix) = 90
Strength: 7
Perception: 8
Endurance: 6 +1
Charisma: 7
Intelligence: 7
Agility: 5
Luck: 5

Horse-riding: 5
Melee: 1
Fists: 1
Archery: -1
Rifles/Muskets: 0
Pistols: 3 +1 =4
Drunkenness: 1
Important Items: 6-chamber-revolver.
Money: $79.5 -.50 -.50 =$80.5
Red took a nasty bullet to the back, nothing i couldnt fix though, wasnt even a challenge disappointingly. His blood loss caused him to fall unconscious making it easier for me to remove the bullet which narrowly missed direct contact with his spine. He will make a full recovery in a few days and be healthier than before. (HP total now 140)
Side Note: Has a wonderful and healthy horse, i think its name was jesse. Wonder if he will let me buy it.

Walter McGee:
Health: 100
Strength: 5
Perception: 10
Endurance: 5
Charisma: 6
Intelligence: 9
Agility: 6
Luck: 5

Horse-riding: 3 +1
Melee: 3
Fists: 0
Archery: 6 +1
Rifles/Muskets: -1
Pistols: -1
Drunkenness: 0
Important Items: Rapier, Mongol bow.
Money: $80
He is an average healthy person and has taken no injuries, apart from a few scratches here and there, from the fight with Travis and his men.
Side note, keep and eye on him, he seems a bit suspicious to me. He has that look of blood thirst in his eyes.

Alaitoc
Hp: 80 -10 =70
Strength: 6
Perception: 6
Endurance: 4
Charisma: 5
Intelligence: 9
Agility: 9
Luck: 6

Horse-riding: 2 +1 =3
Melee: 1
Fists:
Archery:
Rifles/Muskets: 2
Pistols: 4 +1
Drunkenness:1
Important Items: Dual (2) Smith & Wesson Volcanic pistols.
Money: $100
Has suffered a few scratches and cuts from his hard landing on the wooden table that collapsed on top of Derek.
Other than that he is healthy, well as healthy as he can be. He doesnt look very fit at all.
Side Note: Is very quiet and seems rather smart. I wonder if Alaitoc is his birth name, or just a nick-name he picked up, it is a very unusual name.
Flint Westwood
Health: 80
Strength: 4
Perception: 8
Endurance: 4
Charisma: 8
Intelligence: 8
Agility: 8
Luck: 4

Horse-riding: 2 +1 =3
Melee: 0
Fists: 1
Archery: 4 +1 =5
Rifles/Muskets: 2
Pistols: 1
Drunkenness: 0
Important Items: Basic hunting bow and knife
Money: 30$
He hasnt taken any serious damage and is as healthy as he can be. Isnt very fit either. His knowledge of local plants and there use as natural temporary medicine is very interesting.
Side Note: I like this man, he is very laid back and his knowledge of natural wild life is very helpful, he says he has gained this knowledge from his Indian friends. If he only knows of some of the nateral properties of these plants i may start an encyclopedia of all the Indian techniques they use to heal people by using natural resources.

Derek:
Has suffered severe shoulder wounds. He shouldnt not put strain on his arms for a few days and needs to rest.
This isnt as bad as the minecart and pickaxe incident at least. He is a tough kid and will pull through fine.
Side Note: Why does the fool always seem to sustain his injuries in his shoulders!?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SORRY this took so long, but in the last week or so my school work became a bit more intense (several tests) and it does need to come first. More Wicked West updates will be frequent as im now on school holidays for 2 weeks!

[Someguy42]

Me like Doc Brown's reports

[Skunk_Giant]

Pfft, no way Brown's getting Jesse.

[random980]

BOO

yes yes i know this thread still exists.
Expect a biiiiiiig post and opening of chapter 2 THIS WEEKEND!
I know where to put Andy's character in which also gives me a big motivation to start!
I know where i can place the starting of the major plot twist! (not to big of a plot twist that it makes the story incredibly stupid and confusing like what the show 'Lost' did, but big nether the less)
I know how to (somewhat) start the next leg of the other characters adventure.
I know where/how i can now include the marketplace and make it available to the characters.

This is no ordinary western. It is going to be a wicked ride!

[Someguy42]

Excellent... *Puts fingers together*

[Skunk_Giant]

NAO!

[random980]

Last time, in Wicked West! We saw our 'heroes', they were having a MONTH of R&R in Doc Brown's large house which was located against a cliff near a mine entrance in the tiny town of Calico. They arrived there late one night thanks to the help of Derek, who we only just found out was Doc Brown's son.
They were lead there by Derek after a close encounter with our 'bad guy' Travis McCoy at his hideout, which Travis himself threatened to blow up if they didnt leave after Travis dropped "some small round thing" at Flint's feet which somehow emitted a blinding flash letting Travis escape to his 'impenetrable' cellar. After Red and Derek both received bad wounds, Derek's being an arrow into both his shoulders, Red's being life threatening due to Derek shooting him through the shack wall during the gun and arrow fight.
Walter managed to track down Travis after, he left Red and Alaitoc, to claim the prize money on Travis for his personal gain. In doing so Walter came across our friend Flint, a local hunter who had good connections with the local native tribe in the area, who helped Walter and Flint find Travis. Flints native friend Flying Rattlesnake would have gone with them to Travis's... if his dad, the chief, hadnt made Flying Rattlesnake stay at the campsite.
Red tracked down Travis due to Alaitoc 'vaguely' remembering how to get there after Walter ditched them while Red and Alaitoc went to pick up Red's horse Jesse from the local stables in Littlerock. After the Littlerock sheriff kicked the 2 of them (and Walter) out after getting into a short gunfight with Travis and his men, who were kicked out too. Derek received his first projectile to his shoulder here, thanks to Alaitoc.
Walter and Red got into a gunfight with Travis after they heard him shout out Alaitocs name along with death threats while they where minding their own business in the Grand Thomas Saloon and Hotel, where Red managed to drink 50c worth of whiskey (50c could get you a LOT of whiskey back then).
They had last seen Alaitoc earlier that day after they hired him to help Red and Walter hijack and rob a train. Which went horribly wrong when Red ended up 'accidentally' having to shoot the son of the Hesperian sheriff.
The story started with 3 bandits on a hill on horses looking at a train in the very distance. Obviously these 3 were Red, Walter and Alaitoc. Which was where our wicked story began.

Now we begin our new chapter of events with the introduction of Stephen Cain, our newest character, He's a doctor!

[andy25100]

Now we begin our new chapter of events with the introduction of Stephen Cain, our newest character, He's a doctor!

Trust me, I'm a Doctor!

[random980]

This section of story is void, it is no longer cannon! Feel free to read it but its kinda pointless

Spoiler! :

Travis's hideout, 1855
As Alaitoc jumped through the window firing madly with his two powerful Smith & Wesson Volcanic pistols, hitting a simple thug who WAS enjoying a poker game among friends, and landing on a poker table which collapsed onto Derek. A very different, yet still stressful, scenario was happening over in Barstow... 100 years later

Barstow medical clinic. 1955
"Youve had days to work on this old case Stephen, why not just accept the fact that it is unsolvable?"
"Because Daisy! Every case HAS an answer, an end and just like every other old case i work on that has run into dead ends, i WILL solve it!"
"But you havent even slept or taken a brake in almost 3 days!"
"The mysteries of the past wont solve themselves and with every minute i WASTE ARGUING WITH YOU IT WILL ONLY BECOME HARDER TO SOLVE!"
"Well if you think my thoughts are just a waste of time, then ill leave. After being asked, no BEGGED by you to travel here from England to some dump that passes off as a town, i can see im obviously not wanted after all." With that Daisy ripped off her gloves and stormed out the room.
"Wait, Daisy WAIT!"
Stephan hardly ever raised his voice, especially at towards the people he loved. Stephan, realizing what he had done, awkwardly took of his gloves, gently put them down and ran after Daisy.
Stephan met Daisy Stannard when he was 7 and she was 5 while Daisy's family where on holiday to America from England.
They met in the old Barstow lollie shop, which Stephan's family owned at the time and instantly formed a friendship, well what counts as a friendship to a 5 and 7 year old. One afternoon the Stannard's were making sure little Stephan got home safely after playing out in the town, only to find his family's lollie shop broken into, with a lot of 'red' liquad on the floor, something Stephan would only realize to be blood years later. Stephan was now an orphan but the Stannard's (being the nice, rich family that they were) took Stephan in as their own child and took him back to England. Where Daisy became like a sister to Stephan as they both grew up together and went through medical school.
The lead suspect of the crime on the Cain's lollie shop was never prosecuted as there was not 'enough evidence that he did the crime'. The unsolved case is what eventually lead Stephan to start an occupation of solving cold cases, after he was given the ok to preform an autopsy by his superiors, unknown to everyone the 'dead body' was not quite dead... until Stephan started cutting into the man only to see blood started oozing everywhere. The shock, amount of blood and recant repressed memories of his past sent Stephan into sudden petrifaction. Word of his actions spread quickly and Stephan was forced to hide until things calmed down. Stephan saw this as an opportunity to travel back to America and start medicine in a more quiet location.
Stephan raced after Daisy. "Daisy! Im sorry!" Stephan shouted out. Daisy stopped and turned around to face Stephan who had just caught up. "Sorry Daisy, its just this case, i dont know what to do, i dont usually work off 100-year-old photos of a dead guy, and i could really use your help and..."
Daisy cut him off "Just take a brake, the reason why you are getting so short tempered and frustrated is because you need to sleep, just stop for a while, you will start thinking more clearly once you do. Im going to bed now, you should to."
Stephan was tired, very tired, but as he lay awake in his bed unable to actually sleep he thought through the case over and over again, "Ok, so i have a dead sheriffs boy from 100 years ago, who was shot in the head, by what the recorded eye witnesses say was a bandit in his late 20's. He was shot using a simple 6-chamber revolver while the 'bandit stumbled backwards.' Now the revolver i have. But the size of the whole in the photograph of the boys head, the bullet hole is to big and neat, not to mention that revolvers back then where inaccurate especially while stumbling, how did the bullet even enter the skull on such a perfect straight angle anyway! It cant just be a coincidence can it!? I AM missing something here, i know it, but what..." With that final thought Stephan finally fell asleep.

Calico 1855
Red woke up covered in sweat, he had been having nightmares about the firefight with Travis going wrong, him or someone else dying, the shack being blown up or something along those lines, but this time it was different. He dreamed about the train robbery instead, he dreamed he was one of the passengers, who say Red fall back and shoot as the sheriffs son shot at him. But it looked odd, the dream was over the top, the sheriffs son was big and angry looking and shot at Red with a huge rifle instead. As he saw himself stumble back in his dream he saw it in slow motion, which is how it felt when he DID fall. But this time his fall was over the top, his arms and legs were flailing as he saw himself lunge backwards, his flailing gun going off as Red's aim reached the general direction of the sheriff's son. His pistol looked tiny though and his shot looked like it was going to miss. However he saw the sheriffs head snap back with sickening force again, he saw the blood spurt out of the boy's skull, again, he saw the boy ragdoll to the ground, AGAIN.
As Red fell back to sleep he almost completely forgot this dream and the subtle message it contained. Even 100 years apart, Red and Stephan both new something was not right about the murder of the sheriff's son. Except unlike Red, Stephan was sure he knew that as a fact.

Next update will be soon, as i know (pretty much) what to put in it, although the new 50 inch TV im getting on Wednesday may provide as a distraction... Next update will have choices to. Andy, if you dont like the fact your character is set 100 years later just tell me, i can easily change it (although you did kind of say i could be pretty liberal with the character's placement). I only did it because it provides me with some really good ideas and twists i will add further on in the story hope you liked it, feel free to analyse any 'new' plot twists i may or may not have suggested. oh and Skunk, dont give anything away >_>

[andy25100]

I'm good with it as i want to see how this goes, but i will say i didn't see this coming

[random980]

10 months later...
i am willing to continue this and be DEVOTED to it if you all want to continue as well, i always hated how i just got bored and stopped. Or, we can start from scratch using the same characters and using part of this story as lore for the new one.
Yeah... i guess the new 50inch tv was a HUGE distraction
(well that and year 12)

[Iron_Fang]

Continue!

[random980]

Continue!

[Skunk_Giant]

GO GO GO!

[Invunarble]

Hey umm... is it too late for me to make a character? <.<

And if it isn't, can I just be given a character? As displayed in Vall's thread, i'm not the best with character making :S